So I had every intention of writing this yesterday and I was SOOOO proud of myself for yet another clever title to tie into my latest dose of word vomit, and it didn't happen. Less clever today, but I spent too much time trying to name this to come up with another one. Deal with it. ;)
In the last handful of weeks I have had way to many conversations with people chastising me for being a workaholic, and it's really starting to piss me off, for a multitude of reasons. First off, what people are so quick to toss aside as "working too hard/too much" wouldn't even be an issue if I was a man. If I was a guy striving for the things I'm striving for no one would bat an eye, some might even ask if I was putting enough of myself into this venture, but because I'm a woman, it's too much. Can you guess my response to those people? Let me give you a hint, I don't even need to use my sign language knowledge to convey my feelings.. ;)
Now that we got the gender bias out of the way, lets get to the meat. I am a mother of the most amazing 3 year old little boy that has ever walked the earth. He is the most important thing to me and I want to make sure he grows up without thinking his needs are actually wants.
I grew up on the super poor side of things, wearing shoes that didn't fit because I only got 2 "new" pairs a year, always afraid to show my mom things I thought were cool because I didn't want her to feel guilty she couldn't buy them, and basically teaching myself not to want anything, even those things that I needed.
That is not happening for my son. Now, I am not going to go to the opposite extreme and drop money for any and everything he wants, but as a parent, if he wants a soda or milk at the store, assuming he's been good I should be able to say yes, not try to figure out if that puts me over my budget. And we're already teaching him the value of a dollar, I recently got him a piggy bank that he fills with behavior and potty use coins. He's already emptied it once and bought a Hiro and James trains for his wooden train set. He's saving up for the Steamworks right now.
I'm in business for myself. I know that one day I will not be able to do the work I do, and I do NOT want to have to start over at 40 so I am working hard now. My son is 3, and I get precious time with him in the mornings and evenings of everyday, and we even have a designated "mommie day" where all we do is spend time together, me and him. Yes, I'm not home for lunch, nap time and sometimes dinner, but I spend time with him everyday and he knows just how much I love him. When he's 5,6, 7 and older, my business will be bigger and need less of me and when that time comes I will have the freedom to be there for all the games, recitals, plays and whatever else he comes up with to do. But for now, I will give up nap time so he can have the life he deserves.
Folks may mean it as an insult when they call me a workaholic, but all I hear is "Wow, you sure are working hard for something, do you know what it is?" The answer is an emphatic YES.
Also, total side note, I started a second blog to help me write out some of my crazy. It's linked to my profile if you care. It won't be as frequent as this one, but it'll be much more important when I gather the courage to write there..
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You are an amazing mother and an amazing woman!! I have no doubt that you will be far more successful than you can imagine BECAUSE you work so hard and care so much :) <3
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